so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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