i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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