im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
