let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
