I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
