He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
