did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
