hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
We're too hungover to prance.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
