I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize