Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
