I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
