I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
