You made me cry and you don't even care
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
