I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Sext me about skeletons
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
