batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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