before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
