so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
