first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Randomize