Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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