I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
All I want is dick and wine.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
