Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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