If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
