Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
