So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Ladies don't puke and tell
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