Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
