yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
