Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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