Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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