hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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