Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
