Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
