Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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