i think my tv is drunk
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
