Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
