Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Randomize
