I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I could make wine with my vomit
Barsexuality is the new black.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
