I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
tell me about the fingering
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