remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I want you more than these girls want KFC
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize