shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
We got so high we made milksteak
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
