Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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