friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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