Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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