Small penises have feelings too.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
