What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize