Nicole vs. Life
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Randomize
