Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
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