Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
