My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
