Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
