hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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