You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
