Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
